Self-Care for Female Entrepreneurs: Thrive & Avoid Burnout

Paying Yourself First: The Ancient Secret to Entrepreneurial Success (and Sanity!)

Right, let's be honest here. How many of us, juggling businesses, families, and everything in between, feel like we're constantly pouring from an empty cup? You’re hustling, building your empire, nurturing your family – but who’s nurturing you? I get it. Trust me, with four kids, a PhD on the go, and two miniature pinchers who think they’re velociraptors, “me time” often feels like a mythical creature. But what if I told you there's an ancient secret to not just surviving, but thriving as an entrepreneur? (Though, you know how I feel about being pigeonholed – I'm an entrepreneur, period, right?!) This secret? Paying yourself first. It's about understanding that sometimes, to truly flourish, you have to put yourself at the top of the to-do list. As Lisa Nichols so beautifully puts it, "Your job is to fill your own cup, so it overflows. Then you can serve others, joyfully, from your saucer.”

The Richest Man in Babylon and The Modern Entrepreneur

Remember that book, "The Richest Man in Babylon"? You know, the one everyone raves about for financial wisdom? Well, I recently re-read it (squeezed in between school runs and a rather intense Google Meet call where my toddler decided to showcase her interpretive dance skills in the background – honestly, it felt like a scene straight out of a sitcom!). And it struck me: this ancient wisdom applies so powerfully to us modern-day business-building women. I know I'm not alone trying to balance a million things at once. There was this one time I was trying to finalize a presentation for a potential investor, and my six-year-old decided to give Espresso, our hyper puppy, a bath in the kitchen sink – cue a tidal wave of soapy water and a very soggy dog. Talk about a disruption! But I digress… The core message of "The Richest Man in Babylon"? Pay yourself first. Now, in ancient Babylon, this meant setting aside a portion of your earnings for savings. For us, it means something even deeper: consistently investing in our well-being. It’s about recognizing that we are the engine of our businesses, and a neglected engine eventually breaks down. It's about remembering that you are just as valuable as the money you make or the work you do. Paying yourself first is the non-negotiable foundation.

Refilling Your Basket: Why Self-Care is Non-Negotiable

Think of it like this: you’re constantly filling everyone else's baskets – your clients, your children, your partner, even the dogs’ (Cappuccino and Espresso have this uncanny ability to make a mountain of food disappear in seconds!). But who's filling your basket?

If you're constantly giving and never replenishing, eventually, there's nothing left to give. And that, my friend, is the fast track to burnout city. I’ve seen it happen – to myself, and to countless brilliant women I’ve coached. It’s not pretty. It’s not sustainable. And it’s entirely preventable. Think about creating systems in your business, like automating your email marketing or using scheduling tools, so you're working smarter, not harder, and freeing up time for yourself.

So what can we do to put ourselves first, to show ourselves a little self-respect? Remember Michelle Obama’s words: "We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own 'to do' list." For entrepreneurs just starting out, this can be especially tough. I remember when I first launched Nisbett and George, juggling a newborn and trying to get a business off the ground. It felt like there were never enough hours in the day, and self-care was the first thing to go. Sound familiar?

It wasn’t until I hit a wall – exhaustion, frustration, and a serious case of "mom guilt" – that I realised something had to change. I had to start prioritizing my own well-being, not just for myself, but for the success of my business and my family. It's like that saying, "You can't pour from an empty cup."

Self-Investment: Not an Indulgence, But a Strategy for Sustainable Success

This really shifts the perspective on self-care, doesn’t it? It’s not a luxury; it's a strategic investment in your business, your family, and yourself. My PhD research is actually showing some fascinating early correlations between self-care practices and business resilience among women entrepreneurs.

Think back to your “why” for starting your business – was it to be chained to your laptop 24/7, stressed and depleted? I doubt it. My "why" certainly wasn’t that! For me, it was about freedom, flexibility, and building a life I genuinely love, one where I could be truly present with my family while also pursuing my goals (yes, even that PhD, which, let's be honest, sometimes feels like climbing Mount Everest with a toddler on my back). This requires a holistic approach – and that means prioritizing well-being. As women, we need to shift our perspective and view ourselves, and our self-care, as equally important as everyone else. It’s about remembering that a candle cannot give light to others while it’s unlit. So how do we start to light our own way? Paying yourself first is the spark.

Practical Tips for the Time-Starved Entrepreneur (because who isn’t?!)

Okay, I know what you're thinking: “Carlene, that all sounds great, but when am I supposed to squeeze in self-care? I can barely find time to shower, let alone meditate or do yoga!” I hear you. That’s why these tips are specifically designed for the time-starved entrepreneur, the busy woman juggling all the things. And trust me, I’ve been there. There was a period where I was so burnt out, I ended up snapping at my partner over something ridiculous – like him leaving the milk out (again!). It made me realize I was running on empty and desperately needed to refill my own cup. Paying myself first felt impossible. I remember thinking, "How can I possibly justify taking time for myself when there's so much to do for the business and the family?" It felt selfish, indulgent even. It took a serious wake-up call – a missed deadline, a frustrated client, and tears of exhaustion – for me to realize that neglecting my own well-being was actually hurting my business, not helping it. The first step was shifting my mindset, recognizing that self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. Then, I started small, scheduling just 15 minutes each morning for a quiet walk with Cappuccino before the kids woke up. That small act of prioritizing myself, of paying myself first with time, had a ripple effect throughout my entire day. I felt more focused, more energized, and more present for both my work and my family.

• Micro-Moments of Mindfulness: You don’t need an hour-long meditation retreat. Even 5 minutes of deep breathing, focusing on the present moment, can make a difference. Try it while waiting for the kettle to boil, during a school pick-up, or even while untangling your toddler from the dog leash (true story!). Download a meditation app like Headspace or Calm and start with just one guided meditation.

• Movement Snacks: Forget the pressure of hitting the gym for an hour. A 10-minute brisk walk, a quick dance break with the kids, even a few stretches at your desk can boost your energy and mood. My unusual self-care trick? I have a mini trampoline under my desk, and I bounce on it for a few minutes whenever I feel my energy dipping. Sounds crazy, I know, but it works wonders! Put on your favorite song and dance around the living room, or take the stairs instead of the elevator. Every little bit counts!

• Boundary Boss: Set clear boundaries around work time, family time, and, crucially, “you” time. This is non-negotiable. Create a schedule that works for you and stick to it. Communicate your boundaries clearly to your family and clients, so everyone is on the same page. Use a time-blocking app or simply a paper planner to visually map out your week and allocate specific time slots for work, family, and personal activities.

• Outsource and Automate: This is where streamlining your processes and leveraging automation become crucial. Where can you delegate tasks? Can you automate processes using smart tools? Trust me, even basic automation can free up valuable time and mental space. Hire a virtual assistant to handle administrative tasks, use social media scheduling tools to plan your posts in advance, or invest in email marketing software to automate your newsletters.

Mindset Shifts for Prioritizing “You”

Sometimes, the biggest hurdle isn’t finding the time; it’s overcoming the guilt or the ingrained belief that self-care is selfish. So, let’s reframe that, shall we? This is about focusing your mindset, a key element of the FOCUS aspect of my Business Flourish Framework. It’s not about pushing yourself harder, but about working smarter and prioritizing what truly fuels you.

• Self-Care is Self-Respect: Prioritizing your well-being is not selfish; it’s an act of self-respect. It's about recognizing your inherent worth and treating yourself with the same care and compassion you extend to others. This is crucial for us as women; we’re often conditioned to put everyone else first.

• You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup: This is a simple but profound truth. If you’re depleted, you can’t effectively serve your clients, your family, or yourself. Refilling your cup is essential for sustainable giving.

• Small Steps, Big Impact: Don't aim for perfection; aim for progress. Start with one small, manageable self-care practice and build from there. Even 5 minutes a day can make a difference.

Integrating Self-Care into Your Busy Schedule

Okay, so you’re convinced that self-care is important (yay!), and you’ve got some practical tips. But how do you actually integrate these practices into your already overflowing schedule?

• Schedule It: Treat self-care appointments like any other important meeting. Block out time in your calendar and stick to it. This might feel strange at first, but trust me, it works.

• Link It: Connect a self-care activity to an existing habit. For example, listen to a 5-minute meditation while you have your morning coffee, or do some stretches while the kids are having their bath.

• Make it Fun: Choose activities you genuinely enjoy! Self-care shouldn't feel like another chore. If you hate yoga, don't force yourself to do it. Find something that energizes and delights you.

• Join the Conversation: Connecting with other entrepreneurs who “get it” can make all the difference. Share your wins, your struggles, and your tips in our supportive Femme:Connect community! Femme:Connect

Ready to Spark Your Entrepreneurial Journey?

If you’re just starting out and feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of building a business while also managing all the other demands on your time and energy, our Spark Programme is designed to provide you with the clarity, confidence, and support you need. We'll help you validate your idea, define your niche, identify your ideal client, and create a foundational action plan - all within a supportive community of women just like you. Don't let overwhelm hold you back from building the business of your dreams; join Spark today and take the first step towards a more fulfilling and balanced entrepreneurial journey. Spark Programme

Carlene Nisbett

Founder & CEO, Femmeprenista (Coach, Mentor, Speaker)

Wife, Mother of four, Business Owner, PhD Researcher, Pet mom, Plant mom, 5'0" tall Passionate Multitasker & Wine Lover, You get the drift

P.S. This workbook is just the beginning!

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