Sales Reluctance: Empowering Female Entrepreneurs to Sell
- (Admin) The Thrivology Company
- Dec 7, 2024
- 8 min read
That Icky Sales Feeling? Let's Transform It From Dread to Delight (Yes, Really!)
Okay, lovely, let's have a real heart-to-heart, shall we? You, me, a cuppa (or maybe something stronger, no judgement here – it’s wine o’clock somewhere!). If the mere thought of "selling" makes your palms sweat & your stomach do a little flip-flop, you are absolutely, positively not alone. So many brilliant, ambitious female entrepreneurs I speak to, especially those of you who are just starting to build the foundations of your incredible businesses – Foundation Builders – confess that this is one of their biggest hurdles. It feels… icky. Pushy. Inauthentic. Maybe even a bit desperate. According to a recent study, over 60% of female entrepreneurs report feeling uncomfortable with self-promotion & sales (Source: The Diana Project, Babson College).
& if you’re juggling motherhood on top of all this, trying to carve out time for your business between school runs, nap times that are never quite long enough, & the delightful chaos of family life (trust me, with four of my own, from a teenager down to a baby, plus two rather excitable Miniature Pinschers, I get it!), the pressure to then "sell" can feel overwhelming. You pour your heart & soul into creating something amazing, something you’re truly passionate about, only to freeze when it comes to actually asking for the sale. Sound familiar? Thought so!
This fear often whispers insidious little lies: "Who am I to charge for this?", "What if they say no?", "I don't want to sound like one of those salesy people." It’s tangled up with imposter syndrome, fear of rejection, & a whole heap of societal baggage about women, money, & self-promotion. But here’s the truth, lovely: it’s okay to feel this way. & even better? We can change it.
From "Selling" to "Serving": The Big Reframe Your Business Needs
What if I told you that "selling" doesn’t have to be a dirty word? What if we could reframe it entirely? Instead of thinking about it as a high-pressure, manipulative tactic, let’s think of it as an act of authentic service & genuine connection.
Imagine this: you have a skill, a product, a service that can genuinely help someone, solve their problem, make their life easier or better. When you "sell," you're not pushing something onto them; you are generously offering them a solution. You're guiding them towards a transformation they desire. It becomes a conversation, an invitation to explore how you can support them. I'm thinking about what Myron Golden says, "The only way to get what you want is to help other people get what they want."
I remember when I first started out with one of my early ventures, Nisbett & George, creating bespoke fashion pieces. We’d do craft fairs, & initially, I’d feel so awkward stating my prices. It felt like I was asking for something, almost apologetically. I even recall one craft fair early on where I’d completely blank whenever someone showed interest. It was like I was allergic to closing the sale! I'd fumble with my words, avoid eye contact, & practically usher them away from my stall. Cringe, but true! It was a painful realization that passion alone wasn't enough; I needed to get comfortable with the "selling" part.
But then I shifted my perspective. I started focusing on the joy a unique, handcrafted item brought to someone, the story behind the design, & the quality of the materials. Suddenly, it wasn't about "taking their money"; it was about sharing my passion & expertise, offering something truly special. The conversations flowed more easily, & funnily enough, so did the sales.
This is about sharing your value from a place of confidence & integrity. It’s about showing up, shining your light, & letting the right people – your ideal clients – see how you can help them. This approach naturally aligns with how we at Femmeprenista view building a standout brand & connecting with your audience; it’s about clear, authentic communication that truly resonates because it comes from the heart & clearly articulates the solution you provide. To explore how this fits into a more holistic approach to business growth, you can learn more about our Business Flourish Framework.
The Real Secret Weapon? Mastering Your Mindset (Yes, YOU Can Do This!)
Here’s a truth bomb: overcoming sales reluctance is, at its core, a mindset game. & it’s a game you absolutely can win. It's about taking that radical personal responsibility for this crucial part of your business. I know, I know, it’s easy to look at systemic issues or past experiences, but as I often say, while the path might be winding & sometimes feel uphill (especially when you're juggling a PhD & four little ones, like me!), ultimately, owning your progress is what makes the difference. Seriously, who actually has the bandwidth for this unless it’s made super simple?
I’ll be honest, even just last week I found myself hesitating to promote a new offer – mum guilt hit hard, & I started questioning if I was spending enough time with the kids. But then I remembered why I'm doing this – to create a life of freedom & opportunity for them!
Those limiting beliefs we talked about? The ones whispering "you're not good enough," "your prices are too high," or "people don't want what you offer"? They are just thoughts, not facts. & thoughts can be changed.
Self-Worth: Your worth as a person is inherent & non-negotiable. Your prices reflect the value of the transformation you provide, not your personal worthiness (which is infinite, by the way!). Try this: Write down three things you're genuinely great at. Remind yourself of these when self-doubt creeps in.
Money: Money is simply an exchange of energy. It’s a tool that allows you to continue doing the work you love, support your family, & make a bigger impact. It's not greedy to desire it or to charge for your expertise.
Value: You have unique skills, experiences, & passion. What you offer has genuine value. Focus on the incredible transformation or solution you bring to your clients.
This is where the real work – & the real magic – happens. It’s about digging deep, challenging those old narratives, & consciously choosing beliefs that empower you. Thinking about it, Sue Knight emphasizes, "Success comes from within. Our success depends on our ability to be excellent in everything we think, say, & do." This dedication to mastering your inner game is a cornerstone of what we champion here, reflecting the profound importance of having a clear vision & resilient mindset, aligning with the Focus pillar of our Business Flourish Framework. It’s a journey of continuous growth, & if you're curious about the philosophy & personal drive behind Femmeprenista, you can read more about me.
Practical, Non-Sleazy Ways to Share Your Brilliance (& Yes, Get Paid!)
Okay, so we’ve reframed selling & talked mindset. Now for some practical, actionable strategies that feel good & actually work. No icky tactics allowed!
Focus on the Transformation, Not the Transaction: People don’t buy coaching, courses, or products. They buy transformation. They buy solutions to their problems, a way to get from where they are now to where they desperately want to be.
Get crystal clear on the outcome you deliver.
How will their life or business be better after working with you?
Paint that picture. For instance, if you're a copywriter, don't just sell "website copy"; sell the increased leads & sales that compelling copy generates.
Deeply Understand Your Ideal Client: Who are they? What are their biggest pains, fears, desires, & dreams? What language do they use?
When you can articulate their problem better than they can themselves, they’ll instantly trust that you have the solution.
This isn't about manipulation; it's about empathy & deep listening. If you are targeting Millennial mums juggling a business and kids, acknowledging the "12-13 weeks of school holidays" challenge in your messaging will instantly resonate.
Practice Your Value Proposition Until It Feels Like Breathing: Your value proposition is a clear, concise statement of the unique benefit you provide. It shouldn’t sound like a stuffy corporate pitch.
Practice saying it out loud, refining it until it feels completely natural & authentic to you.
When you believe it, they will too. Instead of saying "I offer business coaching," try, "I help female entrepreneurs build thriving businesses without burning out."
View "No" as Navigation, Not Rejection: This is a big one! Not every "no" is a personal rejection of you or your worth.
Sometimes it means "not right now."
Sometimes it means they’re not the right fit.
Sometimes it’s valuable feedback.
Every "no" gets you closer to a "yes" from someone who truly needs what you offer.
Think of it as data guiding you to your ideal people. If you're promoting a high-end coaching package, a "no" might simply mean they're not ready for that level of investment, yet.
Start with Service: Offer genuine value before you ever ask for a sale.
Share helpful tips, insights, & free resources.
When people experience your expertise & generosity firsthand, they'll be much more receptive when you invite them to work with you more closely. Giving away a free Canva template related to social media content is a quick way to showcase your expertise.
Create Authentic Connection Points: Sales often happen in the DMs, in email conversations, or after a discovery call.
Focus on building genuine rapport.
Ask questions.
Listen more than you talk.
Be curious.
People buy from people they know, like, & trust. Show genuine interest in their "caster oil on the carpet" kind of mornings and their "Dora the Explorer in the background" working reality.
Remember, these strategies are about authentically communicating your value & inviting people into a supportive relationship with your business. What challenges are you struggling with today? What small step aligned with our Flow pillar for Momentum & Systems can you take?
You Already Have What It Takes: Selling From Your Strengths
Here’s something I truly believe: as women, we often possess inherent strengths that make us naturally gifted at this reframed idea of "selling." Think about it:
Empathy: Your ability to understand & share the feelings of another is an incredible asset. It allows you to truly connect with your potential clients' needs.
Communication: Many of us are natural communicators, skilled at building rapport & explaining concepts clearly.
Passion: When you’re genuinely passionate about what you do, it’s infectious! That enthusiasm draws people in.
Nurturing Instincts: We often have a natural inclination to support & uplift others. Frame your "sales" conversations as a way to nurture potential clients towards their goals.
Stop trying to adopt some uncomfortable, inauthentic "sales persona" you think you should be. Instead, lean into your unique strengths. Sell from a place of confidence in your offering & a genuine desire to help. Be yourself. That’s your superpower. The journey of entrepreneurship is filled with these kinds of discoveries & a-ha moments, & finding the support to navigate them is key. If you're looking for a community that understands this, & for broader support as you find your purpose & voice, our Femme:Connect resources might be just what you need. It directly taps into the Fuel pillar, focused on your well-being, prioritising authentic relationships to thrive as ambitious women in business.
Overcoming the fear of selling isn't just about growing your revenue; it's about stepping into your power as an entrepreneur. It’s about ensuring your incredible gifts & talents reach the people who need them most, aligning with the Flair pillar focused on Marketing & Messaging. It’s about building a sustainable business that not only supports you & your family but also allows you to make the impact you were born to make.
You’ve got this. Truly.
Carlene Nisbett
Founder & CEO, Femmeprenista (Coach, Mentor, Speaker)
Wife, Mother of four, Business Owner, PhD Researcher, Pet mom, Plant mom, 5'0" tall Passionate Multitasker & Wine Lover, You get the drift
P.S. This workbook is just the beginning!
If you're looking for a supportive community of like-minded female entrepreneurs who get it, why not pop over and say hello?
We'd love to welcome you!
Comments