Owning Generosity in Female Entrepreneurship: Thrive Guide

Beyond the Awkward Payment Dance: Owning Your Business, Owning Your Generosity

Ever been there? That end-of-day huddle at the bar, everyone’s tired, ready to unwind, but there’s that unspoken thing hanging in the air… Who’s picking up the tab?

You know the scenario. You’re a woman entrepreneur, navigating the subtly charged world of business networking. You’re there to connect, to build relationships, but this awkward payment dance can throw you off. Do you offer? Do you wait? Does splitting the bill really feel equal when everyone ordered differently? It's like trying to decipher toddler language – you sort of get it, but some bits are still a bit foreign! And all you really want is a straightforward, genuine connection without this unspoken subtext.

Honestly, I’ve been there too, trust me. There was this one time, early in my career, when I was at a networking event – a room full of seasoned professionals – and I completely misjudged the "drinks on me" etiquette. I ended up covering a round for a much larger group than I intended, which left me in a bit of a financial pickle that month. It was one of those "cringe, but true" moments that taught me a lot about navigating these situations with more grace & intention. It's like that feeling you get when you're the only one at a networking event who doesn't seem to "get" the unwritten rules. This experience, and others like it, fueled my desire to create a different kind of business culture – one built on genuine connection and radical generositygenuine connection and radical generosity.

But here's the beautiful thing about building your own business: you get to rewrite the script. You get to create a culture where generosity flows naturally, where celebrating team wins is a joy, not a source of low-key anxiety. This is about far more than just drinks; it's about taking control and creating an environment where success is celebrated openly & authentically, without this weird unspoken payment game. And that, my friend, is true empowerment.

Rewriting the Rules: Generosity on Your Terms

Owning a business gives you the power to move beyond awkward social scripts and embrace genuine connection. Think about it: when you're the one calling the shots, you get to decide how to celebrate team wins, how to acknowledge contributions, how to express gratitude. This really speaks to that core value of ActionAction within the Femmeprenista Business Flourish FrameworkFemmeprenista Business Flourish Framework – it's about taking ownership, building consistent MomentumMomentum in your business and personal life, and creating a culture of appreciation that aligns with your values. I don't just dig the hole where I'm told to; I actually question, is this the best way of doing things? My Gemini nature just won't let me accept the status quo! Always be curious, always be adapting to a better way. This constant questioning and striving for improvement is something I see consistently in my research on Black female entrepreneurship – it’s that inherent drive to create something better, not just for themselves, but for the community.

It's like creating that perfect, supportive environment you always wished you had – which is what I aim to do with Femmeprenista. There's so much power in finding your fit.

Beyond the Split Bill: Celebrating Success with Intention

Imagine this: you've just landed a major client, or your team has smashed a quarterly target. Instead of the usual scramble at the bar, you announce, "Drinks are on me tonight, team! Let’s celebrate this amazing win!". There’s a power in that. It’s not just about the drinks; it's a statement. It's about celebrating openly, generously, & authentically. It’s about building genuine camaraderie and acknowledging collective effort. You’re fostering a culture where success is something to be shared, not a silent competition of who pays first. This is an example of actively FuelingFueling your team’s morale – a key element of sustainable success, which is a core part of the Business Flourish FrameworkBusiness Flourish Framework.

This reminds me of a coaching session with a client who was a "Foundation BuilderFoundation Builder," struggling with pricing anxiety. She was so talented but kept undervaluing her services, a pattern I see often in my PhD research on female entrepreneurship and the challenges women face around owning their worth. We talked about her "why," the transformative impact she had on her clients, and how her pricing wasn't just a number but a reflection of the deep value she provided. She was operating from that "To Me" level of consciousness, almost like she was apologizing for her existence, her impact, her value. Once she understood that and started operating more from a "Through Me" place, things shifted drastically. This shift in perspective, from scarcity to abundance, was key for her to step into her power & charge what she was truly worth. As she grew, and transitioned to a 'Scaling LeaderScaling Leader,' her mindset around money shifted even more towards abundance and intentional investment in her own growth. This included being open to hiring support and leveraging tools to create more spaciousness in her schedule, a mindset that significantly contributed to her scaling sustainably and attracting even higher-level clients. For her, focusing on her MindsetMindset and her "FocusFocus" – the first pillar of the Business Flourish FrameworkBusiness Flourish Framework – was as important as the practical strategies we developed. The FlairFlair pillar, encompassing authentic marketing & messaging, helped her clearly articulate her value proposition & attract those premium clients she craved.

This shift exemplifies the broader Femmeprenista ethos: taking control, designing your own path, & leading with confidence, fueled by that core FocusFocus on mindset mastery. It’s about moving from a place of reactivity (where those social scripts dictate your actions) to a place of empowered leadership. It's like what I learned from my MBA at Cranfield – that true leadership, both in business & in life, comes from creating a clear vision, understanding the psychology of your target audience, & taking decisive action.

The Power of "Drinks on Me": More Than Just a Transaction

It's more than just buying a round. It's about sending a clear message:

• Valuing Contributions: You’re actively showing your team that their hard work is appreciated. This creates a culture that authentically celebrates collective wins & builds genuine team connection.

• Building Genuine Connection: You’re fostering a sense of camaraderie and shared success. It’s about connection, not a transaction. It’s like those moments when my toddler daughter comes up to me with a little pottery cup from school, all excited to show me her creation. It's not always convenient when I'm trying to meet a deadline or answer emails, but I try to be present, to connect with her joy, to decipher her sometimes-cryptic "toddler language" and understand her world. These are the moments that fuel my "why" and remind me what truly matters. This principle of genuine connection, this real human empathy, is also key for building strong client relationships. It's part of creating that all-important "Know, Like & TrustKnow, Like & Trust" factor.

• Leading with Generosity: You’re setting the tone for a culture of abundance and appreciation. This act creates an upward spiral, where generosity breeds more generosity, strengthening team bonds and fostering loyalty.

I’m not saying you have to foot the bill every time. This isn’t about financial burden; it’s about intention. It's about having the freedom and autonomy to express gratitude on your own terms. It’s about taking that uncomfortable, unspoken payment dance and transforming it into an opportunity for authentic connection. Companies like Southwest Airlines, known for their employee-centric culture, profit-sharing program, and generous perks, are a testament to the long-term benefits of prioritizing people. This creates a culture of loyalty and shared success, a concept I often explore in my PhD research into female entrepreneurship, particularly how women leaders create thriving and supportive environments.

Plus, you never know what one act of generosity can lead to… It can spark unexpected collaborations, create lasting partnerships, or simply build goodwill that comes back to you tenfold. It’s like planting seeds in your "neglected garden" – you might not see immediate results, but with consistent nurturing, those seeds will eventually blossom into something beautiful & abundant.

From Awkwardness to Empowerment: The Femmeprenista Way

Ready to ditch the awkward payment dance and create a culture of generous appreciation in your business? Here’s a simple, 3-step plan to get you started:

1. Reflect & Reframe: Think about a time you felt uncomfortable in a similar payment situation. What triggered those feelings? Was it financial pressure, social anxiety, or a sense of not knowing the "right" way to handle it? How can you reframe that past experience into a learning opportunity? What specific strategy could you implement next time to feel more empowered & in control of the situation, rather than simply reacting to social pressure? It’s about shifting your mindset and choosing a response that aligns with your values & goals. Perhaps you could pre-plan a budget for networking events or decide beforehand how much you're comfortable spending, irrespective of what others order, as one way to take control. This links back to our "FocusFocus" pillar, which is all about mastering your mindset, overcoming limiting beliefs, & leading with confidence.

2. Set an Intention: Decide how you want to express gratitude in your business & your personal life. Do you want to celebrate team wins with "drinks on me," offer a small gift or bonus for exceptional work, or perhaps just express verbal appreciation more frequently? What small, symbolic gesture aligns with your brand, your budget, and your values? Maybe it's a handwritten thank-you note, a spontaneous act of kindness, or a shout-out on social media recognizing someone's contributions. Remember, true generosity isn't about grand displays; it's about the thought & intention behind the action, the genuine desire to connect.

3. Take Action: The next time a team win, a client milestone, or a personal achievement calls for a celebration, don’t hesitate. Take ownership and express your appreciation authentically. Remember, your actions speak volumes about your values and the kind of culture you're creating. Don't overthink it; just do it! It's like that moment when my daughter, Alana, finally learned to ride her bike – it wasn’t from sheer force or intense practice but from a moment of joyful ease, a sudden "click" where the pressure was off and she found her flow. This sudden breakthrough is often what happens when we stop "forcing" things and allow ourselves to find that natural rhythm. The underlying lesson, however, is persistence. You might fall or wobble (we all do!), but you get back up and keep trying. Keep showing up, keep practicing, keep putting yourself out there, and those breakthroughs will happen.

How does this resonate with your own entrepreneurial journey? Have you experienced similar situations? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Share your experiences & tips in the comments below! Let’s create a community where we can all learn from each other’s journeys and celebrate each other’s wins. It can feel lonely out there, especially when you’re juggling so much. Share one win this week below! Let’s celebrate together!

Ready to take control & build a business that empowers you to rewrite the rules? Join our free Femme:Connect community today! It's a place to connect with other incredible women entrepreneurs, access free masterclasses on client attraction strategies, find accountability partners for consistent action, download templates to streamline your systems, and get accessible tech guidance, all within a supportive, non-judgmental space. Plus, we've got your back when it comes to navigating the "12-13 weeks of school holidays" challenge! Find your fit, grow, & build something fantastic: https://www.femmeprenista.com/femmeconnect

Carlene Nisbett

Founder & CEO, Femmeprenista (Coach, Mentor, Speaker)

Wife, Mother of four, Business Owner, PhD Researcher, Pet mom, Plant mom, 5'0" tall Passionate Multitasker & Wine Lover, You get the drift

P.S. This workbook is just the beginning!

If you're looking for a supportive community of like-minded female entrepreneurs who get it, why not pop over and say hello?

Join the Femme:Connect Facebook Community

We'd love to welcome you!