Introverted Femmeprenista Networking: Authentic Connections [Guide]
- (Admin) The Thrivology Company
- Apr 4, 2024
- 9 min read
Quiet Power, Big Impact: My Approach to Authentic Networking for Introverted Femmeprenistas
Ever felt that familiar knot of dread in your stomach when someone mentions a “networking event”? If the thought of working a room filled with strangers, making small talk, & exchanging dozens of business cards makes you want to curl up with a good book, then you, my dear, are not alone. As an introverted femmeprenista (that's a female entrepreneur, like me, who embraces her introverted strengths!), the traditional, often very loud, idea of networking can feel completely overwhelming, if not downright exhausting.
For years, the business world has often championed the outgoing, the talkative, the person who can command a crowd. But what if I told you that your quiet nature, your preference for deeper connection, & your thoughtful approach are not weaknesses to be overcome, but genuine superpowers in building meaningful, impactful relationships? According to recent studies , introverts make up as much as half of the adult population, but are often overlooked in traditional networking scenarios. What if networking wasn’t about becoming someone you’re not, but about leaning into exactly who you are?
That’s what we’re going to explore today. Because as a busy mum of four, juggling a PhD, a bustling household (trust me, with a teenager, a six-year-old, a toddler, & a new baby, there's never a dull or quiet moment!), & running Femmeprenista, I understand that your time & energy are precious commodities. You don’t have spare moments for activities that drain you or feel inauthentic. So, let’s redefine networking, shall we? Let’s make it work for you.
Ditching the "Work the Room" Myth: Networking on Your Own Terms
The very image of “networking” often conjures up scenes of crowded rooms, loud chatter, & a pressure to collect as many contacts as possible. Honestly, it sounds more like a competitive sport than a way to build genuine connections! But here’s a little secret: for introverted entrepreneurs, real networking gold isn’t found in the quantity of handshakes, but in the quality of conversations.
Your natural strengths as an introvert are perfectly suited for this:
Deep Listening: You’re naturally inclined to truly hear what others are saying, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. This makes people feel valued and understood – the bedrock of any real relationship.
Thoughtful Engagement: You ponder, you process, & when you contribute, it’s usually with well-considered insights or questions. This leads to far more memorable & meaningful interactions.
Preference for One-on-One: You thrive in smaller settings or individual conversations where you can connect on a more personal level. These are the interactions that build lasting bonds, not fleeting exchanges.
Think about it – when you build your brand & market your business, aren’t you striving for authentic connection with your ideal clients? The kind that goes beyond a surface-level transaction? Your approach to networking should be an extension of that same authenticity. It’s about finding your unique way to present yourself & connect with others, leveraging your natural style to build rapport & trust. I remember early in my career attending a huge conference, feeling completely overwhelmed & like a tiny fish in a vast ocean. I left with a stack of cards & a headache. Later, at a smaller workshop, I had two in-depth conversations that led to genuine collaborations. The difference? I wasn’t trying to be someone I wasn’t; I allowed myself to connect in a way that felt natural. It’s really funny, because it was at that moment I realised, it’s much better to be true to yourself, than to try & force a connection.
Finding Your Tribe: My Journey & Why It Matters
My own path, much like yours, has been a journey of discovery. From my early days figuring out my place in different educational settings – realising that the environment & the people around me profoundly impacted my ability to thrive (a lesson I first learned when I moved schools as a child & later when I found my academic fit at University of East London after a false start elsewhere) – to navigating the corporate world, & then launching my own ventures, I’ve learned the immense power of finding your tribe.
For me, networking isn't just a business tactic; it's an act of personal responsibility. It's about consciously curating a circle of people who energise, support, & understand you. It’s about listening to your intuition when you meet someone – does this connection feel right? Does it align with your values & your vision? As femmeprenistas, & especially as mothers who are often stretched thin, we simply don’t have the bandwidth for connections that drain our precious energy. I’ve learned that it’s far better to have a small, supportive network of genuine cheerleaders & collaborators than a vast, superficial address book.
This is about seeking out individuals who resonate with your authentic voice & who are on a similar wavelength. These are the people who will understand the beautiful chaos of trying to finalise a proposal while your toddler is experimenting with your lipstick as a new art supply (yes, that’s a plausible scenario from my life!). They’ll get the drive, the ambition, & the occasional moments of self-doubt. Having a supportive community is invaluable.
If you’re just starting out & feeling those initial wobbles of self-doubt, know that finding these kindred spirits is a key part of building your foundation. If you're looking for dedicated support to gain clarity & build that early confidence, programmes like our Spark Program can be instrumental in helping you find your footing. You can explore opportunities to connect with like-minded peers through Femme:Connect to learn more about how we foster these connections.
Smart Strategies for Quiet Powerhouses: Networking That Works For You
So, how can you, as an introverted femmeprenista, network in a way that feels good & actually yields results? It’s about being strategic & intentional, preserving your energy while maximising your impact. Here are some practical approaches:
Prepare with Purpose:
Know Your 'Why': Before any networking opportunity (online or in-person), ask yourself: What do I want to achieve? Am I looking for collaborators, clients, mentors, or simply to learn something new? Having a clear intention helps focus your energy. For example, before attending a recent virtual summit, I identified three specific potential collaborators I wanted to connect with.
Downloadable Checklist/Worksheet: Grab my prep checklist. downloadable checklist here.
Gentle Prep, Not Scripts: Think about a few key things you’d like to share about your business & what you’re passionate about. Prepare a couple of open-ended questions you can ask others. This isn’t about memorising a pitch; it’s about feeling a little more grounded.
Conversation Starters: "What inspired you to start your business?" "What's the biggest challenge you're currently tackling?" "What's a project you're particularly excited about right now?" I like to have a few conversation starters ready.
Quality Over Quantity, Always: Give yourself permission to have just one or two meaningful conversations. That’s far more valuable than collecting a dozen business cards from people you barely remember. Depth trumps breadth every single time. In fact, I once spent an entire event speaking to just one person - & that conversation led to a significant client!
Seek Out Your Comfort Zone (or Create It):
Smaller is Often Better: Look for smaller gatherings, workshops, or roundtables where deeper interaction is more natural.
One-on-One Power: Don’t underestimate the power of a virtual coffee chat or a focused individual meeting. These can be far less draining & more productive for introverts. These work so well - it’s how I found my amazing VA!
Master Online Networking: This is where introverts can truly shine! Engage thoughtfully in online communities (like our very own Femme:Connect – it’s a wonderfully supportive space to practice!). Leave insightful comments on posts, participate in relevant discussions, & send personalised connection requests or DMs when you feel a genuine resonance. It allows you time to formulate your thoughts & connect authentically. One of my favourite things to do is ask lots of questions to encourage engagement.
The Art of the Authentic Follow-Up: If you’ve made a genuine connection, follow up in a way that reflects that. Reference something specific from your conversation. A generic “nice to meet you” email is easily forgotten. A thoughtful message that shows you were listening? That stands out. After one meeting, I sent a client a book recommendation, it was very simple & yet so thoughtful!
Honour Your Energy Levels:
Set Time Limits: You don’t have to be the first to arrive & the last to leave. Decide beforehand how long you’ll stay at an event.
Schedule Recovery Time: If you know an event will be draining, build in some quiet time afterwards to recharge. This is crucial for maintaining your overall well-being & ensuring your business energises rather than drains you. I like to put on a face mask & read a book to wind down.
These strategies aren't about changing who you are; they're about creating streamlined approaches that allow your introverted strengths to shine. It's about making networking an effective & sustainable part of your business growth, not a dreaded chore.
However, things don't always go to plan. I recall one virtual networking event where, despite all my preparation, I felt completely invisible. I diligently followed up with personalized messages, referencing specific points from our conversations. I remember feeling so deflated after sending message after message only to be met with silence. It was like shouting into a void. It was disheartening, and I started to doubt my approach. Was I too quiet? Too understated? Was my carefully crafted message just getting lost in the digital noise? Then, I realized I was targeting the wrong people! The connections I was trying to forge were with individuals who thrived in a high-energy, "always-on" environment – a world away from my more intentional, thoughtful style. That experience taught me the critical importance of carefully selecting networking opportunities that align with my values & energy, even if it means saying "no" to potentially lucrative collaborations. As an expert once said to me: "You won't set the world on fire, if you aren't lit yourself!"
Shifting the Narrative: From Networking Fear to Quiet Confidence
It’s completely normal for introverts to face specific anxieties around networking. The fear of small talk, feeling like an imposter, worrying you’ll be overlooked in a sea of louder voices – these are common hurdles. But they are absolutely surmountable.
The key is to reframe your mindset:
It's Connection, Not Performance: Think of networking as an opportunity to learn about others, share your passions, & see if there’s a mutual spark. It’s not a stage performance where you’re being judged.
Validate Your Approach: Your way of connecting – thoughtful, deep, & genuine – is incredibly valuable. Many people are craving more meaningful interactions.
You Bring Unique Value: As an introvert, you’re likely a fantastic listener, a keen observer, & a thoughtful question-asker. These are rare & highly appreciated qualities in any conversation. Don’t underestimate the impact of making someone feel truly heard.
To build that quiet confidence:
Start Small: If big events feel terrifying, begin with smaller, more intimate settings or online interactions.
Practice Curiosity: Shift your focus from yourself to the other person. Ask open-ended questions. People generally love to talk about themselves & their passions.
Acknowledge & Reframe Nerves: It’s okay to feel nervous! Reframe it as excitement or anticipation. Most people are too focused on their own anxieties to notice yours.
Celebrate Small Wins: Did you initiate one conversation? Did you follow up with someone new? Acknowledge your courage & progress.
Cultivating this resilient entrepreneurial mindset, where you see challenges as opportunities for growth & understand the power of your unique approach, is fundamental. This shift in perspective can transform networking from a source of dread into a genuinely enjoyable way to expand your circle.
Beyond Business Cards: Building Your Supportive Ecosystem
Ultimately, the goal of authentic networking isn't just to gather leads or make sales. It’s about building a supportive ecosystem – a vibrant network of peers, mentors, collaborators, & friends who champion your growth, celebrate your wins, & offer a helping hand during the inevitable bumps in the entrepreneurial road.
This ecosystem is vital, especially for us ambitious mothers navigating the beautiful chaos of business & family. It provides:
Business Growth: Through referrals, collaborations, shared knowledge, & new opportunities.
Well-being: Genuine connections reduce feelings of isolation & provide emotional support, which is so important for maintaining your energy & passion.
A Sense of Belonging: Finding your tribe means knowing you’re not alone on this journey. It means having people who "get it" – the late nights, the early mornings, the kid-related interruptions during a crucial thought process (like when my six-year-old suddenly needs urgent help finding the exact right shade of blue crayon while I'm mapping out a launch!).
When you approach networking with the intention of building purposeful, authentic connections, it becomes less of a task & more of an enriching experience. It’s about finding those people who not only understand your vision but also uplift & inspire you to reach for it. As Roxie Nafousi says, "Energy doesn’t lie. Trust the vibes you get."
So, my fellow introverted femmeprenista, I encourage you to embrace your quiet power. You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to make the biggest impact. Your authenticity, your depth, & your ability to forge genuine connections are your greatest assets. Start small, be yourself, & focus on building relationships that truly resonate.
If you’re just starting out & feeling those initial wobbles of self-doubt, know that finding these kindred spirits is a key part of building your foundation. If you're looking for dedicated support to gain clarity & build that early confidence, programmes like our Spark Program can be instrumental in helping you find your footing.
Carlene Nisbett
Founder & CEO, Femmeprenista
Wife, Mother of four, Business Owner, PhD Researcher, Pet mom, Plant mom, 5'0" tall Passionate Multitasker & Wine Lover, You get the drift
P.S. This workbook is just the beginning!
If you're looking for a supportive community of like-minded female entrepreneurs who get it, why not pop over and say hello?
We'd love to welcome you!
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