Frustration Fuel: Female Entrepreneurs Unlock Business Success

"Emotional"? No, I'm Passionately Frustrated (and That's Fueling My Business)

Believe me, I used to let frustration shut me down completely! I remember one time I was so frustrated by a supplier letting me down on a product launch that I almost gave up on the whole venture. There was that website launch where I was so overwhelmed by the tech glitches – seriously, it felt like the internet itself was conspiring against me – that I literally hid from my inbox for two whole days. I let that frustration paralyse me. But I learned from that experience, and now I'm here to tell you that your passion and, yes, even your frustration, are not weaknesses. They are POWERFULPOWERFUL drivers of innovation & success. Ever been told you're "being emotional" when you're expressing a perfectly valid frustration in your business? Honey, you're not alone. It's the age-old, eye-roll-inducing way of dismissing women's concerns, as if passion & logic are mutually exclusive.

Let's ditch the dismissive narrative & reframe this, shall we? Because I'm here to tell you that your passion and, yes, even your annoyance, are not weaknesses. They are POWERFULPOWERFUL drivers of innovation & success.

Think about it. When something in your business isn't working – maybe your website keeps glitching, a promised collaboration falls through, or you're drowning in admin when you should be connecting with clients – what's your first reaction? For me, it's usually a potent mix of annoyance & a fierce determination to fix it. It's that "I'm-not-giving-up-until-this-is-sorted" energy that gets me through.

Now, I'm not saying we should all be running around in a constant state of fiery frustration. (Though, let’s be real, some days it feels like that’s the default setting, right?) The key is to CHANNEL that energy strategically. It’s about recognizing those challenges not as roadblocks, but as flashing neon signs pointing to areas ripe for improvement. For example, in my early Cocoista days, a supplier let me down at the last minute on a crucial ingredient – organic shea butter, imported directly from Ghana – for a new product launch. My initial panic quickly shifted to problem-solving mode. I ended up reformulating the product using locally sourced cocoa butter & that emergency version became our bestseller! It taught me that constraints can actually spark creativity.

Turning Frustration into Fuel

Reflections informed by my ongoing PhD research into Black female entrepreneurship often highlight this: resilience is not just about bouncing back; it's about using challenges as a springboard for innovation. It’s taking that "this-isn't-working" energy & transforming it into "how-can-I-make-this-better" momentum. One systemic challenge many female entrepreneurs face is access to funding, which can make scaling significantly harder. But does that mean we give up? Absolutely not. We get resourceful, we build community, we find creative solutions.

I remember when my teenage daughter decided to redecorate her room. Great idea in theory, right? Except her vision involved:

• An impossible number of shades of pink

• Glitter that defied gravity (and logic)

• A level of mess that rivalled Espresso's puppy zoomies after triple espressos

My initial reaction? Pure, unadulterated frustration. A silent scream into a throw pillow may or may not have been involved! But after the initial wave subsided (and I’d confiscated the glitter cannon, which, by the way, she'd "borrowed" from her younger sister’s art supplies), I realised two things: one, my daughter’s creative energy was actually inspiring, even if the execution needed a bit of tweaking; & two, I needed a better system for managing these kinds of projects. That’s when I started implementing some simple project management principles, even for home stuff. We sat down together, made a mood board (with slightly fewer shades of pink – okay, maybe just a few less), created a realistic timeline, & divided the tasks.

The result? A much less chaotic redecoration process and, bonus, a valuable lesson for my daughter about planning & execution.

See? Even a glitter explosion can spark innovation if you channel the challenges strategically.

Own Your Emotions, Own Your Power

We, as women, are often told to suppress our emotions, to be “reasonable” & “professional.” But suppressing those feelings doesn’t make them disappear; it just makes them simmer beneath the surface, potentially leading to burnout or resentment. As Simone Biles powerfully put it, "It's okay to not be okay." If you're a Foundation Builder, like someone just starting out – maybe you're still working on your first few clients or haven't even launched yet – this can feel especially overwhelming.

Think about it this way: if you constantly ignore that nagging feeling that your pricing is too low, or that you’re spending way too much time on admin tasks, those issues won’t magically resolve themselves. They’ll just keep draining your energy & hindering your growth.

It's time to own those emotions, not as weaknesses, but as valuable data. Your frustration is telling you something important. Listen to it. Instead of letting challenges overwhelm you, try this 3-Day Reset:

• Day 1: Identify & Journal (30 minutes): Pinpoint the top 3 frustrations draining your energy. Journal about the root cause of each. What specific situations trigger them? What beliefs or thoughts are attached?

• Day 2: Reframe & Visualize (20 minutes): For each frustration, reframe it as an opportunity. "My website is glitchy" becomes "My website needs a tech upgrade to provide a better user experience." Visualize the desired outcome and the positive feelings associated with it. Use affirmations like "I am capable of solving this."

• Day 3: Action & Celebrate (15 minutes): Take one small, concrete action towards solving each identified issue. This could be scheduling a call with a tech expert, researching project management tools, or simply blocking out focused work time. Celebrate each small win, no matter how tiny.

Remember, emotional intelligence is not about being emotionless; it’s about understanding & leveraging your emotions effectively. It’s about recognizing that your passion, your challenges, your drive to make things better – these are your superpowers.

From "Emotional" to Empowered

I'm passionate about helping women entrepreneurs, especially mothers, build businesses that flourish. My own journey, juggling four kids, a PhD, & running a business, has taught me that navigating systemic challenges requires both hard work & smart strategies. It also requires a healthy dose of self-belief & the courage to own your emotions.

So the next time someone tells you you’re “being emotional,” take a deep breath, smile, & remember this: your passion is your power. Own it. Channel it. & Build the thriving business (& the fulfilling life) you deserve. As Michelle Obama said, "Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own."

Ready to transform your passion & challenges into fuel for your business? Join our supportive community of female entrepreneurs in Femme:Connect. We share practical tips, strategies, & a whole lot of encouragement to help you navigate the entrepreneurial rollercoaster. Join the community here

Carlene Nisbett

Founder & CEO, Femmeprenista (Coach, Mentor, Speaker)

Wife, Mother of four, Business Owner, PhD Researcher, Pet mom, Plant mom, 5'0" tall Passionate Multitasker & Wine Lover, You get the drift

P.S. This workbook is just the beginning!

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