7 Steps to Authenticity for Female Founders: Own Your Power
- (Admin) The Thrivology Company
- Oct 28, 2024
- 7 min read
Beyond "Just Be Yourself": Why Authenticity is Your Freakin' Superpower as a Female Founder
Right, let's talk about something that's been bugging me for a while now: this whole "just be yourself" advice that gets thrown around, particularly for us women in business. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? Like a warm hug and a cuppa on a rainy day. But the reality? It's often code for "be quiet, be nice, don't rock the boat, and for heaven's sake, don’t be too opinionated, especially if you're a mum."
I call BS.
As female founders, our authenticity, even with our strong opinions, isn't a liability – it's our freakin' superpower. I mean, seriously, who wants a vanilla leader in a world craving spice? As someone currently pursuing my PhD in Women Entrepreneurship, I see this theme emerging constantly – the power of women owning their unique voice and expertise.
This is especially true for us mums juggling the beautiful chaos of family & business. We’re masters of multitasking, queens of resourcefulness, & experts at getting stuff done with one hand while holding a toddler with the other (anyone else ever find themselves negotiating a contract with a client while simultaneously trying to decipher toddler-speak for "I need a snack...NOW"? Just the other day, I was mid-sentence on a strategy call (kids tucked away safely, of course!) when I heard a distinct crash followed by wails. Turns out, my infant son had decided my meticulously organised filing system (you know, the one I finally set up after weeks of procrastination) was the perfect climbing frame. It's all part of the juggle, right?).
So, ditch the "just be yourself" (and shut up) narrative. Let's talk about why owning your unique voice & leadership style, even if it goes against the grain, is not just acceptable, but essential for building a business that truly thrives.
Why "Owning Your Authenticity" Matters More Than "Just Being Yourself" (& Can Actually Be Harmful)
Look, "be yourself" is a lovely sentiment, but it lacks the nuance we need as female entrepreneurs. It's like telling someone to "just breathe" when they're having a panic attack – helpful in theory, useless in practice.
The issue isn’t with being ourselves; it’s with the unspoken expectations that often accompany that advice. We're told to be "authentic," but within a very narrow definition – one that conveniently fits outdated norms. It's the "be yourself, but not TOO much yourself" double bind.
Ever notice how women who are direct & assertive are often labelled "aggressive" or "difficult"? Or how mothers who prioritize their business are sometimes judged as "selfish"? It's like we're expected to be chameleons, constantly adapting to fit external expectations rather than owning our inherent strengths. My own research into Black female entrepreneurship is constantly highlighting this tension between societal pressures and the desire for authentic self-expression in business.
This isn’t about blaming the system (though, let’s be honest, it often needs a good shake-up). It’s about recognizing that true authenticity requires us to actively challenge these limiting beliefs & rewrite the narrative. Want to connect with other female entrepreneurs facing these challenges? Join our Femme Connect community for support & collaboration. Femme:Connect Community Page
The Power of Owning Your Unique Voice (Even the "Spicy" Bits)
What if I told you that your unique perspective, your strong opinions, even your "spicy" takes, are precisely what sets you apart & makes you magnetic to your ideal clients? Sounds a bit counterintuitive, right? We’re often conditioned to believe that we need to be universally liked to succeed, to smooth out the edges & present a polished, agreeable facade. There have been times in my own journey, especially during those early corporate years at Apple where I felt immense pressure to conform, to tone down my natural enthusiasm and direct communication style. For instance, I vividly remember leading a project to overhaul our internal training materials. I poured my heart & soul into it, working late nights (even with a toddler at home!), and implemented a new, more efficient system. When the project launched, it was praised by senior leadership, but my name wasn’t even mentioned. It felt like my contributions were invisible, and the pressure to conform, to just be a "good little cog," intensified. It was soul-crushing. It never felt quite right, and honestly, it didn't get me very far. It wasn't until I embraced my genuine voice, even the "cringe, but true" bits, that things started to shift.
But here’s the thing: trying to please everyone ultimately pleases no one, especially not ourselves.
Think about it: the brands & leaders you're most drawn to are rarely the bland, agreeable ones. They’re the ones who stand for something, who aren't afraid to challenge the status quo, and who have a distinct, recognizable voice. They’re not trying to be everything to everyone; they’re being unapologetically themselves. According to a recent study by Forrester, brands perceived as authentic see a 23% increase in customer loyalty and a 15% rise in engagement.
Embracing your authentic voice, even the bits that might ruffle some feathers, is the foundation of building a strong brand that truly connects. It’s like crafting a signature perfume – your distinct blend of notes is what makes it unforgettable.
From "Just Be Yourself" to "Owning Your Authenticity": Practical Steps
So, how do we move from the passive "just be yourself" to the active & empowering "own your authenticity"? Here’s what I’ve learned:
Identify Your Values & Non-Negotiables: What truly matters to you in business & life? What principles are you unwilling to compromise on?
Example: Prioritizing family time might mean blocking off specific hours each day for childcare and setting clear boundaries with clients about availability.
Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs: What internal narratives are holding you back from fully expressing yourself? Is it fear of judgment? Imposter syndrome? The belief that you need to be "nice" all the time? Dig deep & reframe these narratives.
Example: If the thought, "Who am I to charge that much?" creeps in, remind yourself of the value you bring and the transformations you facilitate. How would it feel to confidently ask for what you're worth? (Remember Adrienne Weriner and her amazing work on these limiting beliefs around money, especially the idea that money loves certainty and intention).
Find Your Tribe: Surround yourself with a community of women who celebrate your authenticity & encourage you to shine, not dim your light.
Example: Actively participate in online or local groups for female entrepreneurs, sharing your wins, asking for support, and celebrating others' successes. Femme:Connect is designed exactly for this.
Embrace Imperfection: Perfection is the enemy of authenticity. We're all a work in progress. Embrace the messy, imperfect bits of your journey.
Example: Share a behind-the-scenes glimpse into your workday, showcasing the juggle, the chaos, and the humor of it all. Did the dogs eat your presentation notes five minutes before a webinar? Laugh about it! (Believe me, Espresso has done worse).
Take Consistent Action: Authenticity isn’t a one-time declaration; it’s a daily practice. Show up as your true self in your content, your conversations, and your actions, even when it feels a little scary.
Example: Start by adding a personal anecdote to your next social media post, a small glimpse into your world beyond the business facade. Something like, "Just finished a client call with a toddler clinging to my leg and the Paw Patrol theme song blasting in the background. #momlife #entrepreneurlife #thejuggleisreal"
Building a Business Aligned with Your Authentic Self
Building a business aligned with your authentic self is like creating a bespoke suit – it fits you perfectly because it’s designed specifically for you. It requires having clarity on your goals and values, designing systems that support you, and nurturing your energy levels. It takes a bit more effort than buying off the rack, but the result is a powerhouse of confidence & comfort.
What does this look like in practice?
It means defining your niche not based on what’s "popular" but on what genuinely excites & energises you.
It means creating offers that reflect your unique skills & expertise, not just copying what everyone else is doing.
It means setting prices that honour your worth, not undercharging out of fear.
It means building systems & processes that support your lifestyle & well-being, not drain you. This is where smart AI tools can truly streamline your processes, & you can delegate or ditch what’s not serving you. For example, using an AI scheduling tool can save countless back-and-forth emails and free up time for what you love – creating content, connecting with clients, or just having a moment to yourself.
It means saying "no" to opportunities that don't align with your values, even if they seem tempting. Like that time I said 'no' to a speaking engagement at a prestigious conference. It would have looked great on my CV, but deep down, I knew the audience wasn't my ideal client and the topic didn't truly light me up. It was a scary 'no' to say (hello, imposter syndrome!), but it freed up time & energy to create my own workshop series, which has been far more impactful and fulfilling.
It's a conscious choice to build a business that supports the life you want to live, not the other way around.
What's one small, smart step you can take today to own your authenticity & start building a business that truly reflects you? Share it below! I'd love to cheer you on.
Carlene Nisbett
Founder & CEO, Femmeprenista (Coach, Mentor, Speaker)
Wife, Mother of four, Business Owner, PhD Researcher, Pet mom, Plant mom, 5'0" tall Passionate Multitasker & Wine Lover, You get the drift
P.S. This workbook is just the beginning!
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